I started this bad boy in 2011, mostly as a weight loss motivator. My...how times have changed. (And yes, I did lost a lot of that weight. Still have some room to go, though.)
In the end, I ended up with a completely different blog, around books (which I still run but not nearly as often as I used to...again, times change).
When I told someone not too long ago that I was planning to head to Thailand, she said "You have to blog/vlog it". And I said "No one would care." Then someone else said the same. So, yeah, maybe I will add that in.
But honestly, this might be about so much more than that. Right now, the world is complete shit. No other way to put it. And sometimes you need to just document how much shit is really out there. Which I kind of will, but find a way to be motivated in the end.
Today might not be that day. Here's why...
I'm a crazy cat lady. I've had 5 cats for 9+ years, including a 23 year old that is still kicking it strong, and an 18 year old that is sassy AF, but also has medical issues up the wazoo.
But today, I am putting down one of my cats that I've had for about 17 years or so. She's the quiet one, never wanted to be heard or seen. It was hard to know when she needed something, or if something wasn't right. A few weeks ago, what I thought was a broken toenail, turned into possibly being a broken toe, to actually being cancer. I figured out a few days ago that she was dying, the meds we had her on were not working for what we thought was the issue. Yesterday, it was confirmed, she has cancer, and likely won't make it a few more days. Lymphoma. I didn't even know cats could get that.
Nonetheless, this afternoon, I will be letting her cross the Rainbow 🌈 Bridge, while we are at home. And hoping that she is no longer in pain. It will not be "quieter" around here, since she was a little ninja, but she will definitely be missed, by us as well as our 23 year old cat. The change will be noticed by all, though. Goodbye my sweet Monnster! 😿
How do you find motivation in that? I've been asking myself that over the last few hours, as I laid awake, hoping she was still breathing. I really can't, but what I can do is continue to be a motivator to others, as I grieve this huge loss in our house.
Someone at Target the other day told me that I was a "mood booster", and it really made my day. I really want that for myself and others to soak it in, if they want.
So, where will I go with this? I'm not sure, maybe this is just a one time post, to get all these grief and guilt feelings out, and I will leave it for another 13 years. Maybe I will show my travels, giving tips and tricks for the unsavvy traveler. In the end, though, I will always want to come home to my castle of cats. They are my home.
