Change is good, right?

A dear work friend recently told me that she would be leaving the company in order to be able to stay home with her kids, and do daycare.  As happy as I am for her, being able to follow her dream, I am sad to not be able to see her smiling face every day.  This will be a huge change in her life, one she has struggled with getting to. 

But change is good, right?

I recently encouraged a friend of mine to join me on this weight loss journey, because she has expressed a need to do something to lose some weight.  When we discussed it, she didn’t think she would be able to follow the program that I am on, because she didn’t think she would be able to succeed at it.  As we discussed it, I told her I was in the same place she was when I decided I had to do something or I would just continue on the same path I had been on, and then I really wouldn’t succeed.  She is still scared of failing (I know she won’t!) but is beginning the journey, despite all her fears.

But change is good, right?

This past week or so, I have seemed to get a few more compliments on my weight loss than I am comfortable with (and really, I always have a hard time with compliments, so more than 1 is difficult.).  I have been working on this for me, for my health, to be able to physically do more and enjoy it all.  The compliments are good, and they feel nice, they just stress me out a little….I mean, really, part of the reason people stay overweight is because it is easier to deal with than losing weight, right?  You don’t have to be the center of attention (coming from a fitness instructor!!!!), and sometimes no one notices you.  The pants that no longer fit, that is hard to deal with, as well (a good problem to have).

But change is good, right?

Yes, it actually is.  I worked for a horrific boss for about 3 years (now I have a great one!) who, for all her negative qualities, taught me one thing that I will keep with me forever.  CHANGE IS GOOD!  Change is challenging, sometimes almost insurmountable, but it is definitely good.

Sometimes the smallest change, can lead to the biggest thing in your life.  For example, years ago, I had two car accidents in three weeks.  Nothing big, but I was injured enough that a doctor said “you will never be able to be a nurse.  You will never be able to lift the patients or be on your feet for that long.”  My question then, “now what?”  I was in college with a major in nursing, I was on the waiting list for the nursing program.  I had to do a complete 180, and changed my major to Accounting.  Two small sentences from a doctor that changed my life.  When I moved to the Midwest, I got an accounting job which led to me meeting my future husband, leading me to end up at the YMCA working out to lose weight for my wedding, leading me to become a group exercise instructor, etc, etc…

So the question is: Why do we fear change?  We don’t fear change, we fear the unknown.  We fear doing something that we have never done before that may not work out like we had hoped.  We fear failing. 

And honestly, as I began this weight loss journey AGAIN, I feared failing, and said that exact thing to my coach.  “I don’t want to fail at this again.”  Just like I always have.  But is that really how we should be looking at it?  Or should we be saying “If I don’t do this, I cannot fail, but I also cannot change unless I move forward”.  And CHANGE IS GOOD!!!!

Current weight.  191.8 lbs.  Down 19.6 since 3/19/12.

That change is VERY GOOD!!!!

Internal versus External Motivation

So much about motivation can be internal.  Think about those lazy Sundays when you just don't want to get out of bed, pajamas seem to be the clothing of the day, and your heart isn't into doing much more than grabbing the remote and a bag of chips and settling in.  There is a song by Bruno Mars that describes that day to a T, called (of course!) "The Lazy Song"....I love it!!!!  Often, you find the motivation to get out of bed, shower, dress, maybe workout and have oatmeal instead. That is all about your internal motivation.

However, sometimes internal motivation isn't enough.  Sometimes you need the power of a team around you reminding you that you can do this...you can finish this day, you can finish your workout, you can lose the weight you never thought you could.

That is what has taken me this far.  The team of people around me who have been so supportive.  I mostly keep quiet about wanting to lose weight...I mean, really, who doesn't want to lose a few pounds here or there?  But I have never been successful at it for long.  I have tried this diet, that "plan", and somehow I have always failed. So, I don't talk about it....if no one knows you started something...then when you fail, no one knows you failed, right?  And if I failed, much of that is due to lack of discipline on my part.  That lack of discipline was in my own mind, not being motivated.  I mean, in the end, sometimes internal motivation is just not enough.  We fall into old habits, get lazy, then the next day it repeats, because....well, you get the picture.

Sometimes with outside motivation, you can do more than you thought.  A group can always do more than one person alone.  I am thankful for the positive people around me during this journey.  So many good people who are motivating me beyond what my internal motivation would take me to.  They have said such wonderful things, and pushed me to stay on course, when I have wanted to deviate.  I have come so far, and yet feel like I have so far to go.  But it is easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel, if the lights that surround you guide you there.....so thank you to those people....

I continue to push forward, but am already seeing so much progress...I have had to ask for people's pants (well, their old pants...because mine are fitting more like clown pants) and I am wearing holes into my belts because I have to cinch them so tight.  A good problem to have.  I wore my first pair of size 12 pants the other day.  Not my first pair in a really long time, my first pair EVER.  You see as a teenager, I basically went from the kids "husky" sizes right into a size 14.  There was no stop in between.  And for my entire life, I have always wanted to wear a size 12.  I have always wanted to go purchase a size 12 off the rack.  It was always a dream.  I would go into a store, walk past that section and say "I really wish I could wear a size 12 so I can buy it right off that rack".

Now comes the funny part...I wore them the other day, and it was exciting...but I am already thinking "well, if I can do this...why can't I wear a size 10?".  And that, my friends is my INTERNAL motivation.

**A special thank you to my dear friend Ann, who when I called her at 930 on a Friday night, practically crying because I not only was able to put on the size 12 pants and jeans, but could button them without doing the "lay down on the bed, hold the breath and zip thing" was more excited for me than I was.**

Last check...down 23 pounds.  (Official numbers on Monday, I promise!)